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A Letter from a Fan

6/11/2013

4 Comments

 
"Dear Ruby,  at first let me say that it is great of you to come forward with your personal story to create openness and awareness on the matter. By talking about it, getting it out there, other people can be inspired to do the same or to get help for their selves or their loved ones . You often don’t know how bad the situation is, until you are confronted with a reality-check.

I consider you as a very open and honest person. Maybe your openness helped you to cope or to get help. Though I can imagine it was (is) also a shield where you could hide yourself and pretend that everything was ok.

I can imagine that people automatically think or presume they can make a claim on you due to the fact that you were a TV-figure. Did it make for you harder to find your way because reality and friendships presented were sometimes misleading and were there people in your life who kept your feet on the ground (and cherished you for who you are)?

I also think that by coming forward with your story and becoming a kind of spokeswoman on the matter, people think you are a pocket-sized shrink. I already had much respect for you in the past. Hats off for the work that you are doing and trying to help other people.

Not that I consider you as a Mother Theresa now (joke), but because of being open yourself, you open the door for others and you show the way to get help and get better. If adults become aware of this issue, they can also be cautious and address it better, so that children don’t need to go through the same ordeal as their parents.

Therefore a ‘big thank you’ to you for being you.

Wish you and your family all the best.

Stephanie

"
Thank you for that email Stephanie.

When I worked in T.V I certainly never got mail like this. When you’re a comedian and meet people it’s usually so superficial and embarrassing; they relate to you as the person you play on T.V. and you have to pretend to be that character otherwise they’re disappointed. It’s so exhausting and you want to say “Hello, there’s a person in here not just a clown.” What I really found upsetting is when people laughed before I even said anything. Writing my book and being on tour I’ve been able to meet people from the UK, Cape Town, Belgium and Holland and when the book signing happens it’s been a profound experience.

During the book signing for some reason, people open up to me and that’s such a great honour to be trusted with their stories. I feel this tremendous warmth and care from almost every person I make eye contact with. Even when I’m tired from doing an interview on stage, once I meet the people in the audience, I get energized from the warmth and kindness they put out. Some say thanks for talking about mental illness and bringing it into the open, others ask what they can do about their sister/cousin/friend/co-worker/mother as far as getting them help? What this intimacy does for me is so healing for someone with depression.

Thank you everyone who I’ve met for giving my heart a kick start.

4 Comments
Jo Chinery
8/11/2013 01:19:53 am

What an amazing letter, and so true. Ruby, you are a brave and wonderful woman. Keep on doing what you're doing. You are a role model for women and girls all over the world.

Reply
Wendy link
11/11/2013 08:15:09 pm

Dear Ruby, I have just seen ur programme from last yr on channel 4, Ruby Wax: Mad Confessions. I am still crying as I write. U see I am a professional in the NHS, I am currently off work (4/52 so far), and in the NHS there is a stigma. Last yr I suddenly accepted my chronic depression, saw a psychiatrist, to decide if I was bipolar (im not as Im told Im too motivated to still work) I have had a history of taking SSRI's, MAO's, Venlafaxine......The pattern being the drug work for a while then plateaus. I had psychotherapy (painful - made me suicidal) Went on a 'Sanctuary' sea trip for 4 days with 4 other clients - this was the best as it incorporated fresh air/sailing and mindfulness. I have now tried and come off mirtazipine as it worsened my symptoms (nightmares/bed wetting!!!!!) So its back to Venlafaxine again.If I could afford it I would check into a 'priory', cant afford mindfulness as >£200. I am totally despondant, tired @ 52 why cant I find a treatment plan to suit myself. Now that I have 'unzipped' myself to work, my job is being questioned due to the fact Im a lone worker in the community - Do these people not realise Iv been treating patients in their own home for yrs and not shown my depression to them! Yes I may cry in the car in between patient visits, but I am feeling judged...oh wendys off work again. But they dont realise I want to work. Work is the best therapy for me as it keeps me focused. To be home with the black dog of depression is indeed a very scary place to be. I just wish Ruby I could see ur show, get help, I hate this, I hate me....I need to get back to normal living....U even worked whilst at the priory, so it is doable.
Dont even no if ut gonna read this, but wanted to write anyway.........
Like ur drawing depicts I feels like cutting the top of my head off, cos it hurts so much.......Any advice greatly appreciated, as I want to run away, XXXX

Reply
Holly
13/7/2017 10:25:37 am

Hi Ruby! This is your old friend from high school! I have fond memories of cute you & your fabulous sense of humor. Congrats on your masters degree & everything else you've accomplished. When will you be in the Chgo area?

Reply
Holly
14/7/2017 09:52:03 am

If you don't remember me, do you remember running away from "Sarge" the security guard at Evanston High? You made me laugh so hard. We would walk to downtown Evanston & hang out.

Reply



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