We're living in a society that encourages multi-tasking; all interruptions by phones, texts, emails or other 'luminous rectangles' are welcome and what's more make us feel warm and wanted. 'I'm busy, therefore I am' (a slight twist on the Descartes line). Brain research shows that rather than it being a great accomplishment of mankind to be able to 'juggle everything', it may actually scramble your brain. (Duh!) The part of the brain you need for learning and memory, the hippocampus, is only active during uninterrupted focus. Interruptions of attention impair learning so if you're trying to learn Mandarin while speed walking on a treadmill, forget about it; it won't stick. You need focused attention to grow neural connections in the hippocampus, that's how learning happens. Focused attention builds up grey matter in the brain, which increases the ability to remember, attend, inhibit and execute actions, no matter what age you are.

Learning to pay attention; to focus on what you want to focus on and not focus on what you don't want to focus on is the road to freedom. It allows you to see things as if for the first time and novelty is a component of happiness. If you actually taste, smell or touch something as if for the first time, you feel alive, excited and rediscover that sense of wonderment you had as a child when everything gave you a buzz. If you see the world through curiosity rather than a 'seen it, done it' lens the world could become more manageable.

As far as being human, this is what makes us superior. Sadly many people don't use their curiosity. They have it, but it has become obsolete. We are born with this feature, that's why when we're children, our hunger for information is insatiable, we don't even care what the story is, we just want to be stimulated. That is how our brains grow and how, as more and more neurons connect, we become smarter. Then comes school. The point of going is, hopefully, to ignite that nascent curiosity in more ways; history, math, religion, literature etc. Millions of years ago they didn't have school but it was a matter of life and death for the kids to learn how to make a fire, beat animals sense- less with rocks and wash their hands before they went to the loo.

These days, I feel that what kills the spark of curiosity is the fact that everything hangs on a grade. Nothing will burn out an interest quicker. I'm aware high grades get you into a great university where you will go to the best parties, but if you get hooked on this chasing the grade thing and (even worse) if your parents push you too hard, you might find that you get the habit of chasing a rabbit for the rest of your life, thinking that there will be some reward in front of you, always just out of reach. And when you conquer something, it might not be for the personal satisfaction of attaining a goal but rather for beating the competition. So curiosity goes out the window and competitive spirit steps in and you've gained a grade and lost out on the reason we're alive.

Most people don't ask questions and some of the most brilliant people I know (with IQs off the planet) have no curiosity and are therefore idiots.

I'm on tour with Sane New World until the end of May, talking about the brain and mindfulness.

Here's the latest #AskRuby
(You can take part each week by tagging your questions on twitter with #AskRuby)

1. @harchie12: @Rubywax what irritates you most about a theatre audience?

You must know what I’m going to say; when they don’t laugh. I think, “Well I’m laughing and that’s all that matters.” A woman passed out during my show once I didn’t love that either.

2. @boxoffrogs16: @Rubywax #askruby do you have a cd/download/ youtube to help with mindfulness all my mh team gave me was 3 page A4 script it impossible !

You can’t learn anything on 3 pages. Tell them they wasted the paper.

3. @mimidaz: @Rubywax #askruby dear Ruby, do you know of any study or practise of MFness and gardening? Or "outdoor MFness"?thx

Mindfulness is only about being in a state of ‘paying attention’ to whatever is going on ‘in the moment.’ So you can be mindful doing anything if you choose to; cleaning your teeth, picking a weed and even going to the loo. If you’re really tuned into the sensation of a liquid leaving your body - that’s mindfulness.

4. @swishperson: @Rubywax wondered if you've ever tried EFT. Is it useful for depression and how does it fit in with mindfulness? X

If you google EFT it’s about clearing your short circuit in the body’s bioenergy system.
The positive results of mindfulness in terms of depression are based on hard scientific evidence. “Show me the science” is my motto; if I can’t see it, smell it or taste it, for me it won’t work.

5. @maternalocd: @Rubywax Who gave you your courage, Ruby? Was it an eclectic group over time or one person?

No one gave me any courage. I doubt it’s even giveable. I was told I ‘d never get anywhere as a child, if that isn’t fuel for making you push even harder no matter how fearful or humiliating the situation nothing is.

Attention is like a spotlight and what it illuminates streams into your mind, so developing control over it is the most powerful way to shape your brain.

I can hear you say, ‘What’s with attention? I pay it when I cross the street.’ No, for most of us, we are there physically but our attention could be in Sri Lanka. We don’t naturally pay attention, we have to learn it (a glitch in evolutionary development). The tragedy of most of our lives is that we’re asleep at the wheel and no one tells us how to wake up. They say to kids at school, ‘Pay attention’. How would they know how to do that? No one teaches them.

Scientists now have the technology to be able to trace what people’s eyes focus on when they scan a room. Who or what an individual seeks out is based on genes, chemicals, culture, relationships and experience. What your eyes fasten onto is where your mind is in any one moment. Some people enter a room and zoom in on a daddy figure (nice but not sexy) or a sugar daddy (same, but with expensive shoes).

We become the character we are at any particular moment depending on what we focus on. On the golf course, swinging the club, you’re a sportswoman. In bed in your nightie, you might be a sex kitten. With your kids you may be Mother Goose. (God help you if you ever get these roles confused.) These identities are all transitory; they come and go depending on which metaphorical clothes you wear and for what occasion.

The skill required to tame your mind is to be able to inhibit your attention on certain things and intentionally take your focus to others. This is self-regulation, becoming the captain of the ship, steering your attention where you want it to be. An expert at self-regulation would be able to stay calm even in the face of my mother during one of her episodes.  Mindfulness helps me tame the thoughts that flutter around my brain like moths on cocaine. 

Originally published by the Bishopsgate Institute, where I'll be talking on 9th May as part of the Troublemakers?  series.

A great gift that comes with the human party pack is that we're able to fill the gap between wanting something and figuring out how to get it. That's what makes us a superior species, the fact that we can review past events in order to ensure successful outcomes in the future; filling that gap between where we are and where we want to be is probably our biggest motivational driver. That's how a star is born. This is how we achieve, create, produce and hit the deadline; if we didn't have this ability we would still be sea slugs. Here's the grenade in the cookie jar; there's a fine line between actually wanting to accomplish something and just hard-core desire and that's where the rips and tears of the human fabric might start. When we get something we want badly, the wanting diminishes, which is great news until the next want comes along. This puts us into a constant state of want, need, lust, greed and most of the seven deadly sins. (Please don't let me tarnish your trophies for those of you who have just won an academy award or a medal in the Olympics - well done, really.)

The other problem is because we never really feel like we get what we want because there's always someone who has more, we live in a constant state of wanting. This need for success is embedded in our culture. If we don't reach these self- imposed goals, we may experience a sense of worthlessness. In my opinion this is why so many people over-shop. They might feel they have no worth but their clothes do.

The problem is, the hit of 'happiness' usually lasts as long as a cigarette so we have to continually search for the next fix. It's as though as a species we have no brakes, only breakdowns. Mother Nature's little joke on us is that the original object of desire isn't so much fun when we get it, so unless we can up the stakes all the time, we can't get that burst of internal fireworks we call happiness. Most animals just eat their fill and walk away but not us, we keep glutting ourselves even though the next bite never tastes as good as the first one.

This need to have more is not limited to the wives of footballers or head honchos of big organisations. We all, in our own way, never stop 'wanting', that's why we need 20,000 feet of mall; big steaming mounds of galleria won't be enough to satisfy. The shopping never stops; the label says it all. Our self-esteem drives us to buy a designer handbag that costs the GNP of Croatia, which is why people with nothing will spend their last shekel on Dolce and Gabbana or a £300 pair of Nikes. If you have the tattoo of 'CC' on your handbag, you can get a nod of respect from everyone that passes, even though you're homeless. I once saw a tramp in Miami pushing all his belongings in a shopping cart he stole from Bloomingdale's. He was wearing newspaper and had a cap on his head that said, 'Born to Shop'. People who wear Prada usually hang out with other Praderites and the same with all other brands; people seek their own level, their own tribe. Picture it, a whole gaggle of Guccis at the watering hole and some Primarks eating a carcass. What we throw on our back is our new means of identity.

P.S. Proof of our insanity is that we actually buy Ugg boots. Where in the brain do we feel a need to look like an Eskimo, as if they ever had any fashion sense?

I'm on tour until the end of May with Sane New World, talking about how to use mindfulness and an understanding of our brains to navigate 21st Century life.

I'm wary about harping on about depression. People glaze over; you can see them thinking, 'Oh here she goes again, jawing on about "the darkness".' Once you couldn't say 'gay' and before that it was the 'C' word and further back you couldn't even mention you were a witch - depression is the latest taboo.

And this isn't something that happens to a small minority, it's up to one in four of us, so where is everyone? If it's not you it's probably a relative or a friend - everyone knows someone. When Hamlet says, 'O, that this too too solid flesh would melt thaw and resolve itself into a dew!' That's got to be one of the most accurate descriptions of depression. (If a shrink heard you say that he'd have you on meds in seconds.) Part of the stigma lies in the fact that the word 'depressed' depicts a kind of 'down in the dumps' sentiment. Sadness or unhappiness is perfectly normal if something has not turned out the way you wanted it to or someone has died. 

Depression is a whole other beast; it is not situation appropriate but when you find the old you is gone and has been replaced by a block of cement; to move is unimaginable. The voices in your head, however, are belting you- like bombs, incoming over Dresden - so loud, so relentless you get not one voice but about 100,000 abusive voices; like if the Devil had Tourette's. Depression doesn't care if you're famous, live in a mud hut or what culture you come from, it just loves everyone.

Those of you who do suffer know that we just need to look in each other's eyes and we recognise that we have the 'illness'. It's like a secret handshake. You can read depression loud and clear if you look into the eyes of a sufferer; there's no mistaking it, it's the look of a dead shark.

WE ARE NOT ALONE
What helps if you have depression is realising that you are not alone, that this 'illness' actually exists like any other physical illness; you are not making it up and you are not some self-indulgent, self-obsessed narcissist who's looking for pity or an excuse not show up at work or school. Find someone who shares your pain. Go and locate what I call a 'fucked buddy' - someone you can always call, day or night, when you can't take it anymore.

If you talk to people who don't understand they will nod and say how sorry they are and tell you to try and get better but they cannot feel it and will eventually get bored or, in extreme cases, leave you. (So many people have told me that they've been abandoned when they were in the depths of depression.) If you find someone who has what you have, they will never get bored; they will talk drugs, voices and heartache with you till the cows come home. They will relate and resonate with you, holding your hand through the agony.

My Suggestions (A Diatribe) 
Alcoholics Anonymous has a system where you call your 'buddy' when you feel you want a drink and they will talk you down. Why can't we have meeting places like in AA, where they all get together for their 12-step thing and have cigarettes and cookies? How did they organise these get-togethers so well? They have meeting places on every corner of every block; more places than there are Starbucks and these people are drunks? How did they figure all this out? Why can't we do that? We're just as discriminated against as alcoholics; if you ever write that you suffer from a mental disorder on your CV, good luck ever landing a job. If you run a company and you've taken off more than six months because of a mental problem, you're fired. It should be against the law, just as it is with someone physically disabled.

The gays turned it around in my lifetime, now they're everywhere: politicians, CEOs, generals, lords, hairdressers... Let's go find where they keep their old rainbow banners, high-heels and tutus that they wore during their gay parades, put them on and march to parliament with pitch forks screaming, 'WE ARE MENTALLY ILL, WE ARE THE ONE IN FOUR AND PROUD. CHANGE THE LAWS. WE ARE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.' Take it or leave it. My political rant is over.

I'm on the road talking about how I use mindfulness in my Sane New World tour until the end of May. There are still a few tickets left in Cornwall, Dartford and Watford!

Here is Friday's #AskRuby in full

1. @maternalocd: @Rubywax #askruby We know OCD folk don't harm but was Shakespeare trying to describe OCD handwashing or PTSD with rituals in Lady Macbeth?

Both. I’m sure that’s what he meant when he said “Out damn spot.” My mother used to say that when I dropped some crumbs on the floor. I would drop some of my cookie (an invisible amount) and she would leap across the room like Superman with two sponges and wipe like a possessed person. This is how I know how mad the Macbeth woman was.

2. @leadworkshop: @Rubywax A brilliant and very unique show in 
Newark tonight! Can you recommend a book on Neuroscience?

Yes my book; it’s funny and easy to read. You can buy it on Amazon or your near-by bookstore. I would highly recommend it.

3. @GaryDunne: @Rubywax What's your working definition of 
#mindfulness? #askruby

It’s being aware or paying full attention, in the moment while holding back any judgment or self-critical thinking. Just noticing something without the endless commentary that plays in your head.

4. @lorrie_e: @Rubywax As before. How you hide the deeper issues behind comedy. Are you still doing this Ruby?

No comedy is no contraceptive against mental illness. When I’m sick I’m sick and when I’m well and funny they are two separate states of mind.

5. @michaelteehee: @Rubywax is mental health treated better in Britain than America?

I think in Britain it’s more talked about. I don’t think in middle America many things are discussed outside getting some cheese hot dogs and a bucket of French fries.

I'm touring my show "Sane New World" at the moment, zig-zagging the country and it's fantastic that people are now speaking out, especially men - about how hard they're finding it to stay sane.

All of our lives are consumed with incessant busyness. When did this obsession with being busy to the point of madness start? It's become like a plague spreading among us; a virus.

What's bizarre is the very thing driving us crazy is the thing we ask each other to find out how well we're doing. And the more busy you are, the more successful your life is. People ask me "Are you busy?" I say, "Are you kidding? I'm so busy I've had two heart attacks." They think that's fantastic.

There's such shame now if you're not keeping up with the next guy. I read about women who work 47 hours a day, have 13 children, know how to make a cupcake and jog at 3am in the morning. Am I meant to feel guilty? These women should be exterminated - not held up as role models.

When are we going to say like they did in the film Network? "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

We blame the world for making us such a mess. We say it's because of global warming or the economy or whoever happens to be the enemy; they change ever half an hour I can't tell anymore but the conflict is in our minds and we project it onto the world.

It's like we've declared a war in our own brains against ourselves. Let's start to de-clutter our minds - and then we can worry about what's out there.