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More on Burning Man

23/9/2015

1 Comment

 
(Continuation from last week on my Burning Man experience)
On day four, I had a bit of an accident at the giant boot installation. You enter through a door into a fairy tale world of tiny elaborate scenes behind glass involving toy mice, dolphins, dragons, elves - the usual once-upon-a-time-stuff, exhibited in recesses in the walls and in old leatherbound books where the pages were gouged out to house the scenes. There was an interior ladder to get up to where Rapunzel lowers down her hair but the only way to exit the boot was down a steel vine you have to climb down leaf by leaf. I remember I hit the first leaf and then for twelve feet it was just air rushing by until my head thudded on the ground, throwing up a lot of dust. There was blood everywhere. If you want quick medical service come to Burning Man, the paramedics take minutes (all good looking). They made me stay face down holding my head and asking me what my name was, what day it was and my age, which I lied about and when they found Ed, my husband, and asked him, he gave a different age so they thought I had a concussion.
In the ambulance as they drove me to the pop up hospital, I looked out the window at giant babies with no heads, an over-sized type-writer where you sit on the keys, a flying carpet being chased by a half dog, half police car, large coiled dragons breathing fire. Anywhere else you'd think you had a brain injury, here it was just the view. The hospital was another scene from The Apocalypse; people in the latest warrior-wear were connected to tubes or hanging from gurneys either from dehydration or drugs. It turns out my finger was torn open, explaining the splattered blood and besides my thick socks being shredded (if they weren't it would have been my legs) and half my behind bruised purple, nothing happened but they shot me up with pain killers anyway the way a doctor gives you a lollipop.
A few hours later I was back on the bike heading for the clown orgy. I was told the clowns were still asleep so I pedalled to the temple; an enormous wooden structure shaped like a conch sell made of ribs of wood. Inside, people wrote long farewell notes to those who died along with photos and mementos. The notes were heart breaking about how they missed them or never said how much they loved them or how they felt they're still with them. I carved a thank you note for not breaking my neck. They burn this temple down the last night along with all the notes, photos and prayer flags. On my way out two people with matching hairstyles that stood three feet straight up to a point, asked if they could marry me to someone. Ed was nearby so they performed an impromptu wedding ceremony as a crowd cheered, kissed and congratulated us; it took four minutes. It's a continuous surprise party.
There were many moments where I heard myself say out loud, "Oh, my God." At one point, I watched the lamplighters; a group of about 60 men and women dressed in white tunics, carrying long wooden sticks on their shoulders with about eight lanterns hanging off them, four on each side. They walk in a solemn procession every night, rain, sun or sandstorm. When they approached the lampposts lining the mile long walkway to the Temple; someone dressed as a wizard, in front of the carriers (with long beard and pointy hat) raised his staff and four people ran with hooks to nab a lantern and as the wizard raised his arms they raised their separate lanterns to hook onto the lamp posts. People riding alongside shouted, "Thank you lamp-lighters."
As I watched them go off in the distance about 70 police cars (I counted later) drove slowly in a line the opposite way with their lights flashing but no sound. It was such a juxtaposition of the spirit and the real world criss-crossing. The cars lined up in two long rows on either side of the lantern lit walkway and the police got out walking quietly to the front of the temple, raised a tall ladder and one of them climbed up to hammer a photo of a policeman on the wall. He wrote beside it, "His life meant something." I was told he had recently been shot in the line of duty. Again the weight of emotion was palpable; it's rare to be with a large crowd and feel such compassion and vulnerability. I thought this is what humans are like when they're not elbowing their way to the front to get to God knows what. This is the way we are when our dog-eat-dog button is on 'off.' It's infectious, when so many people are emoting empathy, you can't help but catch it. All my sarcasm had nowhere to go because once there's no fear or anger, there's no reason to bite. Your defences are down and what's under that is something close to happiness.
The last night they burned the 80 foot wooden Man. It began with a firework display that kicked the ass of anything I've ever seen or heard about. The sky was filled with lattices of electric sparks that went on for hours and then the effigy of the Man exploded to the crowd's howling while fire dancers went primitive. I had to leave, my eyeballs and mind just gave up and surrendered; they could take in no more. I had to find a quiet room and a Xanax. This euphoric experience, even with my loss of blood, will forever be embedded in my brain. There's no money used here so people give you things without expecting anything in return. There's a first. No one asks what you do for a living so there's no sense of being higher or lower than anyone else. In the six days I was there, I got a taste of what's possible and that will keep my heart afloat until next year when I'll be back in my Disney dress.
1 Comment

#AskRuby September 2015

17/9/2015

6 Comments

 
Here are some brilliant questions and my answers for #AskRuby - keep them coming.  Send me your burning questions over on twitter with #AskRuby.  

Pascal Leroux @PascalLeroux
What's your opinion regarding SSRIs vs mental illness? #AskRuby @Rubywax

I thank the Lord each day for SSRI’ s, without them I wouldn’t be able to read your question, let alone sit up.  If you have a serious mental illness why would you not take them and make yourself suffer even more?  Drugs are far from perfect but it’s all we’ve got. You have to do therapy along with it but first I think, get your mind back before you can look into it.


Rena @RenaKafizas
@Rubywax #AskRuby why do you think some people get Dementia?

If I knew that I’d be worth billions.  It’s Russian roulette which disease each of us get landed with; it could be genes, could be lifestyle but if you’re not using your brain in novel ways; you’re not helping your odds.



lifebeginsat59 @lifebeginsat59
@Rubywax do you do Pilates? #AskRuby

You probably noticed I have a particularly strong pelvic floor; bits of flooring are always stuck to me so, yes, I do Pilates.  It’s mindfulness and exercise together so you kill two birds with one stone; a clearer mind and a tighter bum.



#Twiteratatas @zakmckrakken
@Rubywax How do you get through the worst of days? The days when the darkness is without end? #needhelp #AskRuby 

Don’t whip yourself when you’re that low, watch box sets to stop the endless rumination; it won’t get you anywhere and only hammers you into the ground.  Do whatever you have to do to get your attention away from your thoughts because those are what’s sick; not you.



CoachBright @CoachBrightUK
#AskRuby What's the best way to talk about mental health in schools?

Find a teacher who suffers from it (it won’t be hard, there are probably more than 1 out of 3) and have them tell the kids their experiences. If one person is brave enough to speak out the rest will follow and that’s how teachers should teach - by example.



Becky Lavery @rlavery7
@Rubywax what's the best way to explain depression to the people you love #AskRuby

Repeat to them daily, “It has nothing to do with you.”  Once they understand it’s not their fault you can start to walk them through the feelings of nothingness/self –loathing/helplessness or whatever your particular symptoms are. They want to know but they want to know it’s not because of them.



David J Britton @Tyburn_Cross
@Rubywax Did you originally want a career as an actress rather than comedienne (hence the Professionals gig)? #AskRuby

Sadly, I thought I could act. Luckily, Alan Rickman informed me I would not have a future as an actress and to get off the stage immediately. Also luckily, he told me to write my own material and then taught me how to do comedy. I owe him.



Michael Khalsa @MichaelKhalsa
@Rubywax Ruby, what do you do if people give you shite? #AskRuby

I have to try with all my might, to hold back my instinct to rip their throats out.  Usually if I give the grief back I get a backwash of toxicity that makes me feel sick the next day so now I think why should I give them the pleasure?



Louis @kingof__fools
@Rubywax Musician Prof Green spoke 2day about depression & therapy, you've made it an acceptable thing now, How is new book coming? #askruby

My new book has left the Mothership (me) and comes out in the beginning of January. I wrote it to answer all the questions I get asked when doing my show: What can teen-agers do to deal with pressure? How can parents help their kids/babies? How can you cope in a world of distractions and incoming anxiety? How can you survive work? I cover a wide range of what makes us nuts and what we can do about it.  I’m still using the language of comedy.



Jane Brueton @BruetonJane
@Rubywax #AskRuby Do you think the pressure on women to look beautiful, be thin and super successful adds to mental health problems? X

Pressure to be perfect causes stress but if you have a disease like bi-polar, schizophrenia, depression etc. you could be a supermodel or the richest bitch on earth and still have all of the above.


Isabel Feiras @IFeiras
@Rubywax #AskRuby Why does it often seem that being well is a state of remission from illness?

When your broken leg heals or your flu leaves the building, you know you’re well again. With mental illness when it leaves its’ always lurks in the shadows ready to pounce again so you can never feel totally at ease. Being well always feels a bit temporary to me.



mox56 @mox56
#AskRuby Your thoughts re new studies indicating mindfulness can make it difficult to decide if experiences are real or only imagined.

Mindfulness gives you a way of dealing with the critical thoughts that make you stressed and or depressed. It works like a type of braking system so you don’t get sucked into rumination. It has nothing to do with deciding if experiences are real or imagined.  If you’re thinking those thoughts, please see a doctor.



Kallum Edwards @kallum_edwards
@Rubywax when are you writing another book? #AskRuby

I’ve just finished my new book, coming out in January. I can’t push it enough so I am…..endlessly. It’s called, “Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled.”  You can pre-order it. (I’m still pushing).



Talking Therapies @TTBerkshire
What's one of the most helpful pieces of advice anyone's ever given you? #AskRuby

I love the expression, “Pain is pain but suffering is optional.”



Fiona Beddow @FionaBeddow
@Rubywax #AskRuby  What do you do to stay mindful/in the moment when you're on a train?

Just for a few minutes, I try to send all my attention to the sounds coming in from all sides and when I notice my mind starts it’s usual worrying, planning, rehashing again, I take the focus back to the sound. If you really tune into it, it’s actually fantastically entertaining, much better than earphones.



Alpa @alparina
@Rubywax any tips on how to stop my mind from drifting to other things? #AskRuby

Your mind is supposed to drift to other things; that’s its job. If it didn’t flit around, you’d be as useful as a lamppost. It’s not about stopping your thoughts but of not getting caught in their demands; watching them rather than reacting to them.



Lee Rowlands @SaladDodgersBBQ
@Rubywax Do autistic brains benefit from mindfulness in the same way? #AskRuby

I only know the effects of mindfulness by the scientific research done on it. I haven’t looked at how it benefits autistic brains but there would be papers out there; compliments of Google.



Dave West @foresthoop
@Rubywax Do you miss the USA? #AskRuby

No. I don’t like irony-free zones.



Julie Hollings @PRcommscoach
Your top tip for maintaining positivity in the face of setbacks?  #askruby

Find a friend who will listen and empathize; you can’t face things alone.



Jodie Leigh @JodieLeigh_ESXM
@Rubywax Thoughts on the link between nutrition & mental health? #AskRuby

Food isn’t my area of expertise – I only eat it.



James Williams @FamilyFeelings
Hi @Rubywax #askruby I start my journey to become a counsellor very soon what is the most effective therapy you have encountered thanks :)

 I studied mindfulness-based cognitive therapy but we all have different fingerprints, what works for one person, makes the next one climb the walls.  Ask yourself, what works for you?

6 Comments

On Burning Man

16/9/2015

2 Comments

 
The Mother of all festivals has got to be Burning Man. I went - it did not disappoint - a Fellini film on acid, squared. It's not for the faint hearted because a few times a day you have to eat dirt. I refer to the frequent whiteout dust storms; imagine the Sahara filling up your lungs with a leaf blower. That's the bad news. The good is that every centimetre of space is filled with visions you've never dreamt of. An animal safari is a safari - you know what you're getting. This is a whole new paradigm of reality. I not only refer to the 80,000 people in outfits that make Mad Max look underdressed but the neon art cars and colossal art installations that range from a replica of a street in New Orleans to a 50 foot woman made of woven wire who visibly breathes. The vehicles, in their hundreds and neon at night, are moveable islands of entertainment; a full-sized pirate ship with merry-go-round horses, a cowboy salon on wheels, moving octopi blowing fire, sharks, rhinos, a Japanese tea garden, a bordello, a fire-breathing bathtub, fun houses... Anything you can picture, it's there, lit up like Vegas and spitting fire balls.

I stayed at the Cirque Gitane camp, which sounds pretentious and it was. I'm not complaining, while other people were stuck in small tents, boiling in the day, freezing at night, I lucked out (someone pulled strings). This is a hotel sized circus tent with baroque furnishings, lit chandeliers, Persian carpets and massive statues of famous statesmen dressed as clowns; just like you'd see at your everyday bacchanal. I did find the inhabitants a little upsetting; eight feet tall models either unclad in glitter g-strings lodged somewhere in their g-spots with pink Marie Antoinette wigs or wrapped in leather corsets and snakes. Thank God, I brought my over-sized Sleeping Beauty costume from the Disney shop made of hideous polyester with miles of tulle; if anyone lit a cigarette near me, I would have combusted. I checked it out though, none of the women looked happy so I felt much better. Susan Sarandon brought Timothy Leary's ashes, so there was a bizarre funeral parade where his ashes were scattered around the cathedral as big as a real cathedral but covered in 3d exotic photos, eyes and elephants. Inside was a grotto of shells, confessional booths and peepholes looking into dioramas of weirdnesses. Timothy will be happy there.

​I spent most of my days biking from event to event; there were hundreds of daily selections and I was on a tight schedule. So much to choose from - the fruit, donuts and balls sex exhibition party, naked pub crawls, kundalini cooking classes, the orgasmatron experience, slut Olympics, booty shines, workshops on how to turn your panties into a face mask, male stripping, spanking at Spankies and - my favorite - the strap-a-thon in Beavertown for women and transgender people only. Ok, so you go in a dark tent and first thing we had to do was ask our partners if they were carrying any sexual transmitted diseases and since I was alone, I asked the wall and I told my friends it said, "Yes " Then we had to repeat the rules about always using a wet wipe before and after and what to do with the rubber gloves. We were told to either respond with 'yes' or 'no' when called upon to partake, never use 'maybe' because it was explained if you changed your mind you would upset the other person. I always had female orgy on my bucket list so I can cross that one off it was like Lego with vaginas. I stuck with the wall as my partner but I thought, good for them, gay men have been doing this for years, now it's the girlies' turn

​(I'll continue this blog next week)
2 Comments
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