#AskRuby 26 June 2014

26/6/2014

Here is this week's #AskRuby , if you need any more answers let me know your questions

1. Do you think counselling helps when in the midst of depression, or is it better left til later?

To me, when you’re in the midst of depression your mind has been evacuated there’s no one at home. In those times you wouldn’t know therapy if it came up and hit you on the head.

2. @MichelHeller: best book/article/class you recommend for beginners to mindfulness? I've read #sanenewworld and I want to learn more. Thx.

“Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World” by Mark Williams. He was my professor at Oxford, one of the founders of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, a genius and humble. (Rare combo).

3. @missmusical3 : Did you experience depression as a child?

Yes, but back then no one knew that it existed, they checked my blood so many times hunting for a physical illness, I was sucked dry.

4. @elenwebbpage : having trouble reconciling planning for the future and practicing living in the present - any tips?

You have to plan for the future or nothings going to happen, you’ll grind to a halt and sometimes it’s good to be present, to give yourself a gift for all that planning.

5. @WreckReceiver : Do you think happiness is overrated?

I think happiness means getting a burst of dopamine or endorphins and it feels so good, then it’s over as quick as it started, then you spend all your time ‘chasing the dragon’ for an even bigger hit and it’s just exhausting.

18 Comments

Undercover Supporter

7/7/2014 10:17:52 am

I am a stand up comedian who no longer finds much to laugh about.

My friend is being left to die from starvation because her local mental health team say "she has capacity" to make such choices. She has a Personality Disorder which I now understand is a euphemism for - the tricky patient who no one wants to work with. (An actual quote from one of the professionals who works with her.)

I have cut her down from a noose more times than anyone should ever have to and am greeted by deaf ears when I try to access effective support for her. I have explored every complaints procedure available to me and have given up approaching mental health charities who seem to be ineffectual in this situation.

My mental health is now being effected and we are both sinking. We are teetering on the brink of a tragedy and my last stand for her is to publicly expose a much broader issue - the way that the NHS dismisses the needs of people with this disorder and writes them off as manipulative and attention seeking.

Please Ruby take up the gauntlet on behalf of the PD patient in general and my friend in particular. I suspect she has weeks to live and if she goes, I am not sure that I can go on, knowing that I have failed her......

Rob W

11/7/2014 04:36:29 am

I am both deeply touched by all you have done for your friend and am full of sorrow that you both find yourselves in this situation. What is most damaging here is that you have reached out to charities for help, only to be denied - when what you need is the support of others right now.

If you want to regain your trust I know that Maytree are an amazing organisation to talk to. Trust me. Talk to them, they won't fob you off. Keep going and keep reaching out to people - and keep us updated. Big man hug. Rob

Undercover Supporter

11/7/2014 04:59:49 am

Thank you Rob. Sometimes a man hug is just what is needed and on a world weary Friday night it is received very gratefully. Thank you for pointing me in the direction of Maytree, I will look them up.

Will let you know how this develops. Nice to know that there are others rooting for us across the internet ether. Bless you for taking the trouble to write.

Undercover Supporter

11/7/2014 05:00:11 am

Rob W

11/7/2014 05:12:57 am

You are more than welcome. Right now you need a rescue squad and, as is so often the case, it falls to ordinary people to fill in for the inadequate care the NHS provides. This girl is in a critical condition and it sounds like she needs an intervention now. I would advise her to try a combo of you, a support group, res care, drugs, and a therapist. Get her to AnE though if you are ever in two minds. If there isn't a door opening for proper care then don't be afraid to smash one open. X

Rob W

11/7/2014 05:19:00 am

Just to add, I hope you can tend to your own care too. Stating the obvious, but we can't have you going down the tube either dude. Decent stand up comics are hard to find ;-)

Undercover Supporter

11/7/2014 05:25:55 am

I never said that I was a "decent" stand up comic.....

But I do know the difference between a Psychiatrist and God.

God knows he is not a Psychiatrist!

We may need a squad to smash this particular door open, so anyone out there with battering rams, please make contact.

Rob W

11/7/2014 05:22:03 am

Just to add, I hope you can tend to your own care too. Stating the obvious, but we can't have you going down the tube either dude. Decent stand up comics are hard to find ;-)

Rob W

11/7/2014 05:51:16 am