Thank you all so much for your questions on twitter - it's good to talk.  

You can always send me your questions to me @rubywax with #AskRuby


@olivia_nathan
@Rubywax #askruby what do you believe to be the biggest misconception/stigma surrounding mental health today?
That it’s our imagination. That if we could just ‘perk up’ or ‘pull ourselves together’ or ‘pull our finger out’ (that’s a good one.  A finger out of what?) we’d be perfectly fine.  If any other organ went down you’d get sympathy cards, but not the brain.
 
@maidenmum
@Rubywax Do you have any specific advice/tips/ mindfulness excercises for the extreme emotions and anxiety in menopause. Thank you.#AskRuby
Try and focus on the exact area you’ve got physical sensations in your body. This pulls your focus from thinking about how anxious you are which only makes you more anxious. Rumination about why you’re anxious doubles the agony.
 
@StudentMindsOrg
@Rubywax #AskRuby - do you have any tips for university students dealing with depression?
Watch this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHIR3UVIoNU&feature=youtu.be
Get to a doctor - you can’t cope with depression on your own and if you get a bad feeling about him get to another doctor. Use your gut instinct but get help.  Don’t try and sweat it out.
 
@EloiseAStark
@Rubywax #AskRuby What would you do if you noticed a friend seemed depressed or withdrawn?
 Ask if they want help if they want, if they do get them help, if they tell you to piss off there’s nothing you can do but keep your eye on them and keep your compassion pumping.
 
 
@JPGSheedy
@Rubywax Do you think the 1 in 4 stat has at times alienated those of us with severe conditions by diminishing it as common place? #AskRuby
No
 
 
@LivveyKirtley
.@Rubywax Is there anything specific you think researchers can do to help #endstigma? #AskRuby
 As soon as researchers discover what’s malfunctioning in the brain the faster it will be for us to say, “Look there it is as clear as a tumour so now shut up and don’t you dare try and fire me at work or give me a hard time or I’ll sue you.”
 
@annaros93001241
#AskRuby Hi Ruby, I love your books!! My boyfriend has depression, what can I do to help him when he's down?
 If he really has depression rather than a bad, sad mood get him to a doctor but make sure the doctor’s qualified in psychiatry.  You obviously care about him by asking the question; he’s lucky to have you.
 
@strangelymillsy
#AskRuby how would you advise someone in asking for support from their work when they are dealing with depression?
There must be someone in HR who deals with that situation. If not, why not? If you feel your job might be in jeopardy, call Sane and speak to someone who can advise you on your legal rights.   Sane.org.uk
 
@SaskiaIseard
@Rubywax is it possible to practise mindfulness during a busy commute & how? Going to your show tomorrow, looking forward to it! #AskRuby
I practice it on the tube or in a queue when it’s not moving or on holding on the phone to music that could drive you more mental than you are. Just for a minute focus on the sound of the train or the taste of coffee.  In that minute you take the focus from the thoughts to your sense where there is only sensation no nagging.
If you read my book “Frazzled,” I give suggestions on how you can wedge it into a busy day. Everyone has a at least a minute in their day when they’re not doing something or else we’d all be institutionalized.
 
@kcb1
@Rubywax #AskRuby I have read ur book and want to practice mindfulness but get caught up in daily life. Any advice how to change this?
 Daily life is exactly when you could practice mindfulness. We don’t have anything else but our daily lives.  If you notice you’re autopilot when you want to be present for something, mindfulness helps you pull into that gear.  Use it or your life could just pass as a blur.
 
 @gem82running
@Rubywax do you think mental illness is compatible with a stressful job or is it asking for trouble?Thx for the walk in,it was fab #AskRuby
Mental illness has nothing to do with a job, it’s a disease, not caused by stress. People work so hard and long they can burn out but that’s different than mental illness. You can have it even if you’ve never lifted a finger; even if you’re living on an island with room service it still hits 1 in 4. That should make you feel better.
 
@KiddGraeme
@Rubywax where's your favourite venue/place to perform comedy? #AskRuby
I know this might sound weird but I love performing in mental institutions. It feels like I’m with my people, I’m safe because they know they’re of my tribe. They laugh even when something’s not funny. I’m so grateful.
 
@graeme123s
@Rubywax #askruby Please explain about your mum vacuuming with her teeth - How/Why? Just finished Frazzled - loved it!
That was a joke. She vacuumed with her nostrils.
 
@leesapollo
@Rubywax #AskRuby I worry about fitting daily mindfulness in. I'm managing the 10mins each morning but wondered how long u spend each day?
10 minutes is a great achievement - most people can’t do a second. I spend about 10 minutes scattered throughout the day, even in the bathroom.
 
 @StevePersonally
@Rubywax number one recommendation for me supporting a bipolar lady (doing pretty ok) #askruby
Stand by her through her highs and lows - which there will be a great number of, so hold onto your hat.
 
@rachredgate
@Rubywax How did you first come across mindfulness? #AskRuby
I read that it has the best results for preventing relapse of depression so I dove in that pool.
 
@Dream_on_Alex
@Rubywax  can I use mindfulness to help me have a deeper sleep? #AskRuby
Yes, it stops the ruminating and that’s what keeps you up; those thoughts churning over and over again and the bitch is that there will never be an answer however much you churn. Mindfulness helps you cool it on the churning
 
@coxiegirl
@Rubywax #AskRuby and are you planning to tour with Frazzled?
Yes - I’ll be touring the UK starting in April.  I’ll give you dates on rubywax.net/tour next week.
 
Karen Cox @coxiegirl
@Rubywax #AskRuby how can i get my kids to practice mindfulness regularly?
Good luck getting them to practice even once. Most kids will rebel whatever you tell them. I know my kids think I’m an atrocity of nature.  Just do it yourself and they’ll pick up that you’re being calmer in the storms and may even ask you what you’re doing to get there.
 
@slabss
@Rubywax can one practice mindfulness without meditation? #AskRuby
It is meditation but without the Buddhist thing going on you don’t have to wear a robe or sit on a gulten free cushion.  Yes, you got it.
 
@flyingkipper
@Rubywax What is the most helpful piece of advice you could give someone with #depression? #AskRuby #mentalhealth #mentalillness
Get to a doctor who can give you the right medication and later add some CBT when you feel better.  If you’re really down, just give yourself a break and wait for the demon to leave.
 
@jeanjobling
#AskRuby how can I quieten the mind at night to help sleep?
Do mindfulness if you can or just distract yourself; read something really boring or focus anywhere you can but on your thoughts. They are the great preventer of sleep.
 
@screemer75
@Rubywax did you experience physical symptoms when first practising meditation #askruby
No just the mental agony of looking in on my thoughts which is part of the process. If you don’t know what’s going on in there, you’re at the mercy of it.
 
@susank2
#AskRuby top tips to maintain serenity when presenting to 120 colleagues at conference when brain sending "fight or flight" message to body!
Focus on breathing or the feel of your feet where they contact the ground.  If you focus on a physical sense, the thoughts cool down from the horrors of what might happen which isn’t going to help the situation – ever.  It’s the only way to deal with scariness as far as I’ve seen.
 

Alan Rickman died two weeks ago and I am broken, as is everyone else who knew him. I just wanted to share a few more words about him.

I first saw Alan in 1976 at the Edinburgh Festival. I was with a friend of his, who pointed him out saying casually "Do you want to meet Alan Rickman?". I don't remember much, but I stared and turned into my 13 year old self: teeth protruding, hunched back, "Oh hi Alan do you have curly hair on purpose?". He said something about it being for a play but I wasn't listening; he was gorgeous and I had my first whiff of what charisma looks like up close. I was determined from that point, even though it was a rocky start, to make him my friend against all odds. It didn't start out well. He was looking at me with slight disgust - as he did throughout our 38 years together.

This could have been a one-night stand but for some bolt of destiny. We were brought together again. I followed him into Sheffield Rep. They were doing a production of As You Like It. I played a wench called Audrey, and Alan was Jacques.

Playing Audrey, it was easier to watch Alan each night and move in like a parasite after the shows to suck out his friendship. He was magnificent, I stood there gormless - luckily I could say it was part of my character. Each night I had the privilege of hearing his magnificent tones speak Shakespeare. I didn't know it was supposed to make sense or rhyme. Who knew?

I think I finally won his heart one night, when in an Indian restaurant they were playing sitar music...loudly. I called over the waiter and asked why should we listen to that when we could just kick a cat? Alan was amused and from then on I knew my mission was to make him laugh, my only trump card.

After Sheffield, I knew he was going to the RSC and I knew I needed to follow him, so I wrote a note to Joyce Nettles, the casting director. I knew they were doing As You Like It so I wrote to Joyce to ask that if the girl playing Phoebe died could I take over? She said she didn't think that would happen but did I want to audition? I did an audition, no one will forget and I don't think it meant good. I don't recall getting an acceptance letter but I just showed up with my makeup box and, to Alan's surprise, I was there on stage with him again. It didn't matter I was playing a dog and a rubbish bag (small parts in this production of The Tempest). 

I convinced Alan to share a house with me while in Stratford and to this day I do not know how. We called our home Shakespeare's Sauna because the rooms were decorated in pine wood and aluminium foil. I'd bring American tourists there telling them it was indeed where Shakespeare had his spa treatments until Alan put a stop to it. At some point we bought a tortoise and called it Betty which made us the official parents. For our amusement, we used to feed her peanut butter to watch her try to chew with no teeth. We'd invite other people over to watch. Please don't tell anyone this. I remember once Alan and I were walking to the theatre and ran into Peter Brooke who was about to direct Antony and Cleopatra. I mentioned to Peter that I'd like to put Betty up for the part of the snake and that she would play nude. Alan turned away and pretended to study a wall close up. Juliet Stevenson ended up getting Betty's part.

Then came him playing Valmont in Les Liasons Dangereuses from Stratford to Broadway and he became a rock star. Lindsay Duncan said that after the show most of the audience wanted to have sex, most of them with Alan Rickman.

And, I don't have to go on about Snape - a cult figure. When I used to tell people I knew Snape in real life, which I often did, they would lie prostrate before me. Also, I got reservations in many a restaurant.

No matter who he played, in real life, no one was more generous. I don't know how many people he supported emotionally and to all his friends who asked for it , he advised advised advised and was always right... A silent investor in people. He certainly did with my kids.

I'm not going to say goodbye because he's in all his friends and family - right there just under our skin we hear him, see him and love him more than life itself.
______
Ruby's new book - A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled - is out now and available in all good bookshops, as well as online. Be the first to find out more here.
​
Don't miss out on the last chance to see her Sane New World show - at the Arts Theatre in London until Feb 13 2016. She is also holding walk-in sessions on 5 and 10 Februar

I just opened  at The Arts Theatre in the West End (my show, Sane New World runs until 13 February). I've toured this show for a few years around the UK but when the press come there's always a sickness in the stomach because you know that, with one swift negative scribble of the plume, it could get very painful and shaming - and yet you still have to show up. Anyway, I love my show and would come see it if I wasn't in it. This is an unusual thing for me to say as I'm not usually very flattering about myself but after about 200 performances, I think I might have nailed it.

When I started doing one woman shows 30 years ago, Alan Rickman directed me. I met him at the Royal Shakespeare Company where the actors on stage threw spit balls of notes at me while I was mid-performance, telling me that I should reconsider being an actress and to maybe think about an alternative career. It wasn't pleasant. Alan told me to write the way I spoke and thought, so I just let it rip on paper with wild abandon. When I handed him my tome covered in food stains he said it was like someone had vomited on him, but he edited it somehow and shaped it into a show. He directed my first piece while we were still in the RSC. We invited Trevor Nunn and all the other actors and directors to watch and suddenly I went from playing houseplants to speaking parts. (I still wasn't any good at acting but I think I was fun to have around.)

The show I wrote back then went to off-Broadway and I cast Americans in the roles. Alan refused to come because he was building his own career but I made several actresses cry and they refused to do my show unless Alan came and directed it. He did. He directed and mentored me on pretty much everything I did all those years ago; television, live shows, comedy scripts, films. I remember, he would give me hell while I was doing my one woman shows, telling me to not be so desperate because it showed in my eyes. He called them hatchet eyes; expressing excess neediness and fear. He told me to play myself and since I didn't know who that was I played a grinning, trying to be funny, loud American. The less people laughed, the louder I got. Alan would often do my lines and make me scream with hysterics, collapsing onto the floor, he was that good at comedy and timing. I often tried to imitate how he'd do it when I performed but it just confused people. During all those shows he'd give me the same note. "Don't try so hard." Finally, now, after many decades, I can be 'not desperate' on stage. It feels like I can let go of trying to please but still be aware there's an audience. I think now he might be proud.

He died last week and it's more heart-breaking than anything I've felt before. I feel like my insides have been gouged out and nothings left. He formed me and saved me. When my father used to come to the UK and bury me in verbal criticism, it was Alan who told him to 'lay off', who told him that I wasn't such a 'sad sack' as he called me but that I was very talented and would make it. My father rolled his eyes. If it wasn't for Alan I would never have thought of writing comedy, I would have had to return to my home, to my parents in the US and I know that would have broken me. I know that by now I'd be either institutionalised, heavily medicated or dead. I have to thank him and can't.


Ruby's new book - A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled - is out now and available in all good bookshops, as well as online. Be the first to find out more here.
​
Don't miss out on the last chance to see her Sane New World show - at the Arts Theatre in London until Feb 13 2016.

I support the NHS. Here's a discount for all NHS workers for my Sane New World show at the Arts Theatre, London.

30% discount on all first week tickets 19th – 26th Jan, booked via the Arts Theatre box office quote NHS30. Arts Theatre box office on 020 7836 8463

Then a 15% discount on all weekday performances for the rest of the run. 27th Jan – 13th Feb (offer excludes all Friday and Saturday performances), quote NHS15 when you book your tickets.

Please note people will need to bring NHS id when you pick up the tickets.

Please share with the NHS workers you know and love 

Dpn't forget about my  walk in sessions at the Arts Theatre
No booking required  6-7 Great Newport St, London WC2H 7JB
2 - 4pm (doors open from 1.30pm)
27 January  2016  //   5 February 2016   //  ​10 February 2016

I wrote this on the last night of my tour of performing Sane New World. I could give out a little "whoop" but I'm extremely sad at endings even though I should know that everything ends and that there are always new beginnings after the endings but I don't see that part. (I'm a glass completely empty kind of person.) Even though there have been terrible travels on this tour (tonight I got on the wrong train, got off at the wrong stop, stood hunched alone in freezing cold, waiting for a bus (no heating) to take me somewhere recognizable where I begged someone in the parking lot for a lift to my theatre and luckily, they took pity), I loved doing my show.

So, I'm opening at the Arts Theatre London, on January 19th for a month in the West End. How happy will I be to be in one place for a month? Please come to see me, I don't want to be standing there talking to air.

The theatre is allowing me to do walk-in meetings where the public are invited to come free to sessions on mindfulness. These will happen three times - on 27th January, 3rd February and 10th February from 2-4pm. There will be access to the theatre from 1.30pm. During the sessions you can meet with a team of experts from the charity Sane to get your questions answered and to get help if need be . I'll also have great speakers (for instance, Peter Fonegy, head of the Anna Freud Centre and an expert on mindfulness for kids in schools). My job will be serving cookies and tea.

I've had walk-in centres before - during a run I did in the West End about five years ago and it was fantastic to behold. People were so grateful and relieved to at last make contact with someone who could offer help and an understanding of what they were going through. I remember, there was a woman at the first meeting who said she didn't want to live anymore and by week five she had a gang of friends around her as a support group and you could visibly see her come out of her misery.

After my show closes on February 13th, I'm going to start my walk-in centres in earnest, by piloting them in conjunction with Marks and Spencers who are supporting the scheme as part of their community programme 'Spark Something Good', which is backed by the charity Mind. They are signatories of Time to Change meaning they're dedicated to stopping the stigma and discrimination against any employees who have mental health problems

It has always been my dream to have these centres where you can meet your people and therefore feel less isolated. These meetings aren't necessarily for those with mental illness but for those who feel they're on the cusp of burning out or simply going up the ladder of 'stressdom'. Meeting other people in the same boat is almost half the cure. We are all so ashamed that we have vulnerabilities, all thinking we should be so strong and on top of things. This is so exciting for me to offer these centres; I know if we want to stop the stigma that there is strength in numbers.

Walk in Clinics at the ARTS THEATRE - no booking required
Please note that the first February date has been changed to 5th February due to a funeral.
6-7 Great Newport St, London WC2H 7JB
2 - 4pm 
January 27 2016
February 5 2016
February 10 2016

Ruby's new book - A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled - will be published in January 2016. Be the first to find out more here. Don't miss out on the last chance to see her Sane New World show - at the Arts Theatre in London, Jan 19 - Feb 13 2016.
Follow Ruby Wax on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RubyWax

Some great questions here - thank you all so much for sending them in.  Don't forget, you can ask me anything over on twitter by sending me a tweet @RubyWax with #AskRuby

 
@MichaelKhalsa
@Rubywax What helps you when depression hits? #AskRuby xx
 
Realizing that depression has really hit and not pretending its not there and will just go away if I stay busy enough or distract myself enough.  Then indulge myself till it passes.
 
@DepressiveDiary
@Rubywax #AskRuby Are you ever ashamed of your depression and if so, how do you challenge that?
 
Yes, when I think the suffering that’s going on in the world, I’m ashamed because I’m not under siege nor is anyone firing guns at me.  I keep saying it’s 1 in 4 and depression doesn’t care who it gets no matter how privileged or safe.
 
@gem82running
@Rubywax How can I avoid passing on my anxiety and depression to my future children? PS Loved your show, been 3 times so far #AskRuby
 
Thanks for being nice about my show.  Depression isn’t something you pass like a virus. If someone has five kids, not all of them get it or get passed the mental illness parcel. It’s Russian roulette when it comes to who inherits what and whether it’s nature or nuture.  If you stay awake to their needs and aware of your syndrome then the offspring stands more of a chance for a better life. Love makes up for quite a lot of potential emotional problems.
 
@MichelleRey75
@Rubywax #AskRuby  what are you thoughts on the use of mobile phones around young children and early childhood brain development
 
I don’t know, I’m not an expert in the field but I know if I didn’t have a mobile I wouldn’t have survived.
 
@jays_ben
How does a relationship survive depression? #AskRuby

Only if you have a ‘loving you no matter what’ partner.If they don’t get it and think you might be just too lazy to pull yourself together, it won’t survive.  It’s a tragedy but it’s true some people can’t take watching indefinable mental suffering and feeling helpless, they abandon the ship.
 
@advantardeodus
What degree of stigma do you think there is around mental health in the UK/Internationally? What should the government be doing? #AskRuby

Changing laws so people with mental illness can’t be stigmatised. It should be illegal.
 
@advantardeodus
@Rubywax Hi. What are your opinions on Mind and Rethink? Thoughts about upcoming Psychedelic therapy? Best book recommendations? #AskRuby
 
We should kiss the helm of Mind and Rethink, without those charities there would be mayhem in the streets; they give advice and tell you how to get help….what’s not to like?
I always thought psychedelics were good for your health.  If you’re going to be out of your mind you might as well go for the real thing.
 
@dgtlghst
@Rubywax What do you do on those days where you don't feel like you can get out of bed? #AskRuby
 
I don’t get out of bed.
 
@wilkesy5
@Rubywax how does touring impact on your mental health? Do you find it more difficult to manage your depression on the road? #askruby
 
I love being on a train; my happiest moments are when I don’t have to give face time to anyone and be able to focus in on my writing as scenery whizzes by and once in awhile I see a cow – bliss.
 
@mikebythepond
@Rubywax #AskRuby can I come round to your's for egg and chips please? Don't mind oven readies

No, I don’t do chips; never have.  An egg I can make - I’m not completely useless.
 
 @davco72
#askruby  Love your book. What's your top tip to stop the brain running wild thinking about  scenarios that will never happen?
 
For me doing mindfulness is the control tower but everyone has to find their own means of curbing rumination, which is the devil and leads no where, only down.
 
@ScienceCaroline
@Rubywax #askruby Did (or do) you ever worry that achieving emotional control via mindfulness might take the edge off being funny? after all, seeing the world differently is part of what makes a person funny. Emotional calm = less funny??!
 
Mindfulness just cuts out the fat so I’m not thinking about my dry cleaning or buying another towel when I’m trying to write a funny line.  It gives you edge; doesn’t take it off.
 
@Lucymdancer
@Rubywax #askruby what do you think is the biggest misconception about the practice of #mindfulness and ur suggestion for overcoming it?
 
That you lose your edge and that your mind is supposed to empty and go blank. (It goes blank when you die that’s the only time)
 
@HollHox
@Rubywax What advice would u give fellow creatives who struggle when low & don't know how to keep going / see a future with it? #AskRuby

I can’t give advice, when you’re that low it only pisses you off when people say, “It will pass” but the truth is it will pass.
 
@akapeachie
@Rubywax I'd love some tips on how to apply mindfulness while busy looking after a toddler! #AskRuby
 
Read my next book out in January, “Mindfulness Guide For the Frazzled” it gives all that advice and more on just about everything. 
 

I'm writing this on the 24th of November. Tomorrow they announce the Budget for what gets what in the crazy world of government funding. I know Norman Lamb went to see George Osborne to reiterate how much mental illness is draining the economy. Talk money, that's the key to their hearts. I don't need to remind you that 70billion pounds are lost each year because of absenteeism at work from stress related illnesses. I can't get it in my head that politicians can't get it in their heads that most of our 21st Century woes are caused by mental illness; crime, addictions, disease, rape, suicide, domestic violence, child abuse is caused by something that is mentally misfiring in our brains. Probably the weather isn't caused by mental illness but then again there's global warning and we did that, so I might be wrong.
The expression 'mental health' is starting to get on my nerves it sounds too fluffy as if it means hygienic or nice and clean thinking. Dealing with terrorists is something I'm not a specialist in but had there been more research on the brain, maybe we'd understand human emotions better. If we had some better insights into how our minds work we might be better able to negotiate with terrorists rather than blasting them to oblivion. There will always be war until we understand the conflict in our own minds. We just keep projecting our own problems on the world. Just because we can't tolerate something doesn't mean we're right. A child can't tolerate things, we as adults should know better. To me, it's our inflexibility of thinking that defines someone as being mentally unhealthy or not. If we heal ourselves; we heal the ills of the world.
We also have to recognize our unconscious taste for violence that each one of us has got branded into our DNA and only when we've faced it can we learn to manage it. We shouldn't beat ourselves up about it, if it wasn't for our ability to go for the jugular we would be on the almost ran list of extinction. We need to acknowledge our dark forces. "Know thyself" before you judge the rest of the world should be emblazoned on tee shirts in every language throughout the globe if we ever want peace.
I'm sure money has to be spent on defence after what happened in Paris but if we don't heal those closer to home we'll wipe ourselves out by stress that we've put on our own shoulders. And if we are under such fear of attack imagine how high the heart attack and posttraumatic stress disorders are going to spike up? See what I mean when I say everything stems from mental illness? If we aren't conscious of not just going back to our baser roots of, "Eye for an Eye" school of thuggery, the terrorized will, as usual, turn into the terrorists.
Hurrah, today is November 25th (I obviously didn't send this in on the 24th) and the Budget has been announced. It seems they're going to give 600 million pounds toward mental health. Before I go out and ring the church bells I need to find out who's going to make sure it's spent correctly. And if all is Kosher than Hurrah!!! Hurrah!!! The UK is waking up to a new dawn and dealing with the real threat in the world; us.
Ruby's new book - A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled - will be published in January 2016. Be the first to find out more here. See herSane New World show at the Arts Theatre in London, Jan 19 - Feb 13 2016.

I would love to be able to write how joyous I am that Christmas is around the corner but I'd be lying. I feel like I'm falling down the rabbit hole. I had this depression exactly at this time of year last year (after a gap of seven years). I think my mind is recalling what happened a year ago which triggered me into a mental whirlwind of despair. I must be having some macabre anniversary.
The good news is, I'm not experiencing that deadening black gloom I have when I'm depressed, my brain is actually going dangerously over the speed limit; not sad but unbelievably alert and busy. A psychiatrist once told me that after multiple episodes of depression over the years, you might start to experience added mania. I assumed that having a bi-polar thing meant extremes like setting your hair on fire or buying real estate in Bulgaria with money you don't have. I'm not in Stephen Fry country, which he describes as out-of-control but I'm certainly doing chores obsessively and going through lists at the speed of knots.
I realise I've been like this in the past but never associated it with manic behavior; I just thought I was being incredibly efficient. I know my mother was hyper when she did things like put all my underwear in plastic bags so the dust wouldn't get at them but it was never diagnosed as a pathology.
Maybe it's because of practicing mindfulness that I notice my strange activities more than before. I can witness them from a distance so I'm aware of what's going on. A few days ago, on my daughter's birthday, I made her order me furniture from Ikea to take to South Africa. (Don't ask why, even I don't know) but part of me was slightly amused. I also lost my suitcase and computer many times during the week. (They were luckily returned), I got in touch with my doctor to ask if I had early dementia.
He said depression is often called 'pseudo dementia' because one of its symptoms is forgetfulness. I should know this because I do a show every night where I talk about what happens to your memory when you're hyper. Not only the memory but the whole body is affected causing the immune system to eventually break down making you like Velcro to multiple diseases; diabetes type two, heart disease, obesity, premature ageing and many others. I forgot that I actually say it in my show and in my book.
A few days ago I was obsessed by the idea of buying a basket from Zara Home. I'm not trying to be funny but it obsessed me all day even while performing my show. I finally jumped out a car when I should have been on a train to the theatre when I noticed Zara Home, went in and bought one in a frantic state. That night someone in the audience asked me how could they tell when they were anxious about something real or anxious about something imagined. , I wanted to tell her about my craving for the Zara basket. I think maybe because I'm more aware of my internal state, I'm doing things to take care of myself. I've stopped using my phone or computer (until now because I thought it would be useful for me to write about my feelings so I remember what they were).
With this knowledge that I'm ill, I make sure I do mindful breathing before doing the show to lower my adrenaline. I'm not reading newspapers or meeting people in the day. In the old days I would punish myself for being lazy and useless, forcing myself to do hundreds of activates. I'm coming to the conclusion that this is a sign of self-compassion not self-indulgence. This disease is sneaky, it comes in many guises; sometimes it shows itself by the need to buy a Zara basket other times it just turns you into a lump of cement with no feelings so you don't care if you live or die.
This leads me to remind you to sign the petition for equality4mentalhealth (you can get to it on Chrome). If this proposal for the government to fund mental illness isn't agreed to by this Budget (on 25 Nov) it won't be brought up again in the next five years. 
Ruby's new book - A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled - will be published in January 2016. Be the first to find out more here. Until then, find out where you can see her Sane New World show - including a four week run at the Arts Theatre in London, Jan 19 - Feb 13 2016.

So after my little trip to Burning Man, New Zealand and Cape Town I've come back to London. Don't worry - I'm whipping myself with guilt how lucky I am to have gotten that kind of gig. I worked in two out of the three. In Burning Man, I didn't perform, just fell twelve feet off an installation of a giant boot and ripped the ligaments in my thumb and am still wearing a brace - but it was worth it. Now I'm sitting in a taxi, in the grey hideous rain-dripping ride home from the airport and thinking, "Why?" My reason for 'why' I'm back here is (besides my family and friends and dare I say cat, Sox) I start my tour of Sane New World" again for about twenty dates (google where the show is, I have no idea) and then in the West End at the end of January at the Arts Theatre (I know where that is).

I've toured this show for two years sometimes I ask myself "why am I milking this baby around the UK till it runs dry?" My answer is that in the second half of the show, after the interval, the audience have a chance to talk and for me it's my happiest moment, to be able to connect with my people; my tribe. Most of my life I've felt so freakish and alone but this reaffirms that under our well-armoured fronts, we're pretty much the same (different hair-dos), We all want to be heard, we want some answers and we want to feel connected. In every theatre, wherever I've taken this show, the discussion only ends because we need to shut down the theatre otherwise we'd be there all night. I go out to sign books afterwards so we can go on talking. I love when people talk to me as long as they're honest and cut the small talk. So that's what gets me out of the house, on the train and 'out of Africa' (see Meryl Streep). Just before the West End, my new book comes out and then I'll tour the new show in spring but I'll always, I mean always, want to have the second half where the audience talk to each other and me. We don't have walk-in centres yet so it's the next best thing even though weirdly it happens to be in a theatre. People ask me if I miss what I used to do? I say, if they mean being the champion canoeist at Camp Agawak because that's something I used to do? Or do they mean when I played a bee in my nursery school play because that's also what I did? How far back do people want you to go? I think everything I did was to get me ready for what I'm doing now. This is the payoff and the payback.



​By the way, this is a photo of the boot I fell off at Burning Man. There was a steel vine coming out of the top to get down. I put my foot on the first metal leaf and that was my last leaf. I then took off into the air and fell. People crowded around me holding my head thinking I'd landed on it. Someone asked me if I knew my name? I told him my name. Then they asked if I knew what day it was. I got it right. Then they asked how old I was; I lied. When they found Ed they asked him how old I was and he gave a different age. They took me away in an ambulance because then they thought I got it wrong from a concussion.

My new book - A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled - will be published in January 2016. Be the first to find out more here. Until then, I'll be back on the road with Sane New World.

I arrived in Stockholm straight from New Zealand so I was still fuelled with Hobbit fever, dazzled by the landscape; the gnarly, spooky eye-blindingly emerald green of it all. I was here to speak at Wisdom Stockholm conference. I said I'd do it because it sounded a lot like TedTalks and that's such a namedropper these days so I went from elves to intellects in once swift leap. Ian McKellen, in a pointy hat was replaced by economic leaders, neuroscientists, tech developers and futurists; I felt sick to my stomach that I would be the weird one out; naked and with no power point to hide behind as usual.

It turns out this conference wasn't the usual beauty contest for the best brains. No, to my delight, each speaker was there to discuss ways in which the economy, global organizations, education, technology and the government could become more conscious, more mindful; the aim being well-being rather than the 'eye on the buck school of greedery'. The theme of the talks seemed to be that we've lost our humanity along the way, not caring who goes down (other people) or what goes down (the planet) in the name of obese profits and global domination (see recent Volkswagen debacle). We need to change the modus operandi to promote a pursuit of happiness rather than burning out for the sake of success. It's us that need to change, then we can worry about the return of the Ice Age (which by the way we've caused). So these people, God bless them, were standing alone up there, on the Stockholm Opera House (humble venue) discussing ways to change the world before the world changes us. And the event was sponsored by Google and if they can encourage this caring, sharing brave new world, we just might be able to not screw the world for the next generation completely.

The first speaker was a woman from the United Nations who spoke about Bhutan being number one on the gross national happiness (GNH) spectrum and what the criteria is for getting there. She told us other countries are now joining in to use this GNH measurement to reflect the success of their country. By the way, Britain isn't doing too well but it's doing far better than my home town; the good ol' U.S.A. Another speaker was an English/Indian monk who did mindfulness sessions for us all. He was a fantastic teacher but not holy, at times hilarious (his mother was in the "Kumars" so he had a show business in his ordained veins). I immediately booked him to come onto my new YouTube channel beginning in November based on my new book (A Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled) and we'd call our segment, "The Monk and the Mermaid." (Me being the mermaid).
One of my favourites at the conference was an explorer, Johan Ernst Nilson who crossed the Atlantic on a jet ski, walked from the North to the South Pole, moseyed up Everest, kayaked from Europe to Africa. (Obviously airlifted when necessary over land). His speech was about nothing being impossible if you have the desire. As an example of this - he told us while he was kayaking through Europe there were some locks on canals in Holland that weren't working. He wouldn't back down so he figured out how to move forward probably with his theme song "nothing is impossible" playing in his ear. He kayaked the rest of the way through parts of Holland in the sewers instead. But his greatest feat was flying in a motorized boat/raft from Sweden to Africa; check it out on www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_GmhIg75Ho. At one point they sent out fighter planes to find out who or what was in the airspace and reported back it was a boat. Central control didn't think it was a big deal until they said the boat was above them. Johan proved that nothing stops a determined Viking. He's either enlightened or nuts or both but I loved him.

The last night all the speakers were taken into the countryside for a (I guess) 'thanks for talking for free' party. This was my fantasy come true. We walked through a forest lined with candle-lit lanterns to a farmhouse (the red wooden slates with the everything in white interiors). There was a long table set for about 50 with wood burning fires and fantastic looking Swedish men serving home grown food that made your eyes roll back in your head. Nothing makes me happier than eating and listening to original, bright minds at play and to do both at the same time is perfection. I wish this were my life, being fed by beautiful men, in the presence of great minds discussing new and better ways to live and hopefully change the world. I had these type of discussions when I was 18 when I was hopeful and then never again but here's the spark and hopefully some day all this might come to fruition and I can say I was there.

My new book - A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled - will be published in January 2016. Be the first to find out more here. Until then, I'll be back on the road with Sane New World. There are still some tickets available.