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Sadness and Depression - NOT the same thing

12/8/2013

18 Comments

 
A recent newspaper article has caused a stir among readers, many criticising it for putting depression and sadness in the same box. 

This is exactly the kind of publicity that keeps that stigma flag flying high; saying sadness and depression are one and the same and you can 'snap out of it', 'pull your socks up' or' 'perk up'   The whole human race feels sad, bad, hysterical, violent' that all comes with the package; it's normal.  Depression isn't an emotion it's a malfunction in the brain, as physical a reality as any other disease.  You wouldn't tell someone with diabetes to stop taking the insulin and just feel better so why this tirade against a mental disease?  It's also like telling someone with Alzheimer's to get over it and remember their name and what they did the day before.  Alzheimer's is likewise a disease of the brain why no stigma there?  Why only depression?   


Mistaking sadness for depression is like confusing a pimple with cancer.  People who are sad get over it, the biggest cause of suicide especially among men under 30 is depression; something you can't just shake off.the reason being is because it's too painful to be in a body that can't find any reason to go on living; it's agony not sadness.   I've interviewed people with cancer who also have depression. They say the cancer is easier to deal with because they get sympathy and support, with depression they feel abandoned and made to feel they are being self-indulgent.  Articles like this only increase the shame and guilt which exasperate the illness. Depression has been around even in Greek times and is experienced throughout the world ,why would someone think it's something we just dreamt up to get attention and a few free pills?
18 Comments
Chuck
11/8/2013 11:49:15 pm

You tell him, Ruby. As someone with an M.Div. who works in a church, it's awful having depression and anxiety and not being able to seek support because of the unrealistic ex

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Chuck
11/8/2013 11:54:11 pm

pectations. "If you're sad, how can you be thanking God for all that He has given you?" Folks, I'm so depressed my whole system of faith is crumbling around me. Let's worry about my thankfulness another time. By the way, your inability to truly help those who are suffering but offering a slice of shame instead is part of what is giving me doubts! My only comfort in this illness, and at times I'm ashamed of it because it's selfish, is that my sister and I fell into it at the same time and can talk with one another about it, just to remind ourselves it's a health problem and not a change in worldview.Thank you so much for the work you're doing on the issue, Ruby. You're helping so many of us.

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Jane
12/8/2013 12:27:17 am

Thank you for writing this. I suffer from depression and anxiety, both of which are quite debilitating, but also very isolating, because it is very hard to explain the illness and its impact on my life to other people (especially the anxiety part). There is definitely the perception that one is being in some way weak, self-indulgent, idle, or attention-seeking, and that one should just get over it. Sadly however, it is not that easy.

Although depression can very often go away by itself, I did not seek help in the early days of my illness (for fear of stigma!), with the result that I now have a much more long-term condition, which is much harder to treat. And it turns out my fear of stigma was well-founded!

Ah well.

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Beth Breeze link
12/8/2013 01:09:10 am

If only doctors saw this!

Some prescribe on the basis you're grieving for loved ones and hating your university course, rather than looking at external factors contributing to the disease. This makes it seemingly unacceptable to be human. They see you're not coping well and attempt to patch up the holes with pills, rather than support you.

I want them to stop tarring us with the shit stigma stick.

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Shirley
12/8/2013 11:10:07 pm

I so agree!

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Brian (AntiDepAware) link
12/8/2013 01:21:40 am

There are still significant numbers of prescribers in the medical profession who continue to go against the NICE advice to consider other therapies before reaching for the prescription pad. It would help if these doctors would restrict their prescribing of antidepressants to those who are actually diagnosed with clinical depression. Not those suffering from situational anxiety, stress, bereavement, PTSD, PND, backache or PMT, for which antidepressants were not designed, and for which they are likely to do more harm than good.

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Angie
12/8/2013 01:26:06 am

I completely agree with Ruby. I feel sad from time to time, but my ex partner has depression. He is more than just sad, it certainly isn't some thing you can just snap out of. Its debilitating at times, and extremely difficult to live with. He wont get help cos of the stigma. They definitely are not the same thing.

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Penelope
12/8/2013 03:33:01 am

Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain; sadness is not. Can I make it any clearer than that?!

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Brian (AntiDepAware) link
12/8/2013 04:56:29 am

Clear enough, Penelope, but entirely wrong. That myth was exposed as a marketing ploy a few years ago.

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Shirley
12/8/2013 11:08:26 pm

I agree with his comments to an extent, I suffer from depression. I know the depths of despair. However so many people tell me that they understand ......that last year when their holiday was cancelled they were so depressed too. So many people think that their sadness is the same thing ....If only!

Also the ADHD diagnosis is one that has troubled me. Are these kids 'sick' or are they noisy, loud, creative, frustrated, suffering from non ideal parenting or home situations, are teachers taking the easy way out. Do these children need pills and a label to subdue them or do they need love, kindness, respect or just the need to be children - to make noise and run around.

What I think I'm saying is that people often use the label or the terminology incorrectly. I am depressed - not sad. However many sad people say they are depressed. Isn't it the medical profession who needs to see and diagnose the difference.

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Jo
13/8/2013 10:26:58 pm

What a dreadful piece of writing, Ruby. You make assertions about depression that are not true - there is no scientific evidence that has been consistently show at all. What you are failing to realise is that sadness can be incredibly awful, so bad it leads to suicide, but not be an illness. Having a view is great, but if you make claims please ensure they are accurate. It does feel sometimes that this is more about you selling books and staying in the media spotlight than anything else. Some reflection and humility on what you know please P.S I am a psychiatrist and have had sadness that has driven me to the edge many a time.

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Bonnie
16/10/2015 02:41:56 am

As someone who is currently diagnosed with clinical depression, I guarantee you it is not feeling sad at all. I don't feel anything, I just feel bored, don't find anything fun anymore, anything exciting, and have contemplated suicide countless times. You think that's normal? Is it common to feel that way? I don't think so. I felt sad when my pet hamster died. I felt sad when my grandma died. I felt sad when a game I was excited about got cancelled. That's feeling sad.

Feeling sad is not the same as feeling so hollow, so empty, feeling like no one gives a shit about you. This shit stigma of calling depression sadness is what makes many people kill themselves. It's one of the things that makes me wish I'd just disappear, amkes me contemplate killing myself because you see, no one gives a shit about me anyway, after all I'm only sad... what a weird sadness this is that it lasts for more than seven years.

Thank you and all the doctors who agree with you for calling us liars and dismissing our very real problem like it's something everyone and the kitchen sink goes through, "doctor."

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Carolyn
14/8/2013 10:01:09 pm

I love you Ruby but I really get what Jo just wrote about sadness. I don't quite understand and it bothers me to be labeled. Although if it would help then wtf!

xxxxxxx

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richard phillips
13/9/2013 07:24:59 pm

having had depression i believe that depression is linked to emotion.
us brits are really good at seperating the emotion from the event.i believe unless you conect the two and deal with them they will always be there to haunt in some way or another.
the other day i went to a reunion of people i grew up with that night i had a nightmare of fear being chased and eaten.more past issues to deal with i think. bullies to face up to and there were many and my dad. big subject. love you ruby

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Fiona link
15/8/2014 02:04:19 am

I've suffered depression since my son died, and it's certainly not the same as sadness! I've learned to deal with sadness and it's to cry my eyes out. But you can't do that with depression, because you have no sadness, nor do you feel happiness, nor anger, nor empathy... you have no feelings whatsoever. Just an empty shell... and with no emotions you've nothing to look forward to, nothing to regret, nothing to hope for nothing to feel sorry about, nothing but nothing. And that's when life seems pointless, but not in a hysterical way, just a nothing really matters way. When I'm depressed I could win a million pounds or lose a million pounds, yet feel nothing. I hope this helps people understand what depression really is.

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KUTIL KELAMIN link
18/5/2015 03:58:38 am


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Bemused Muse
25/8/2015 05:57:27 am

Thanks for this Ruby. I find myself admonishing myself for not being happy, but it's not really something one can do, it's a state... I guess it's because I'm desperate and I wish I could force myself into happiness because I'm fed up of feeling gloomy but it never works. It really is a very poisonous idea that these mental states are dependent on will... damaging to those suffering and perpetuating a false idea that you can talk yourself out of an illness! I think people need to realise it isn't so more research can be done into curing it. Thanks for being so open about it, you're very brave.

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Shereeta
14/4/2017 11:38:39 am

I've been suffering from depression for over 5 years. I feel guilty because I've been praying for it to go away, but I find my self googling to find blogs like this, or for considering going back to therapy. I question whether I truly believe that God will deliver me from depression, if I'm seeking help from other resources. Am I saying that I think GOD needs help? I don't believe that, but I can't help feeling conflicted for taking 2 anti-depressants and considering therapy...

I used to be outgoing, and loved talking to people. But now I have to force my self to talk to people. I can hardly get out of bed to go to work. It's really debilitating. I want my old self back. I feel like my quality of life is diminished by the several health issues I have in addition to depression.

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